I
could see she wasn't happy.
"What's
up?"
"Nothing."
"You
look fed up."
"Suppose."
"Anything
I've done?"
"No.
It's not you."
"So
someone else then?"
"Not
sure. Not really. Just feeling a bit useless. Old."
"You're
not old. You're younger than everyone we know, even the younger ones.
And there's
loads
of stuff you could do to feel useful. Paint. Make jewellery. Knit."
"I
know. Just don't feel like doing any of that stuff."
"Want
to go out for a walk? We need stuff from the veg shop."
"No,
you go. Looks too wet."
"Don't
like leaving you like this. What else is on your mind?"
"Just
wondering what the future holds."
"Is
it that book you're reading getting you down?"
"Maybe.
All they do is sit around and moan. Nobody does anything. We don't
seem to do
anything
either."
"Don't
we? Am I spending too much time in my shed?"
"No,
that's not fair, I know how much you enjoy what you're doing, and I
like seeing the
things
you come up with. But we haven't done much together recently. Not
even
watching
telly. Though I did enjoy last night, it was worth staying up for.”
"Yeah,
I love it that we both get so much out of those programmes. And we
did go to the
film
last week. And went for lunch on Friday. Had Sheila and Graham to
dinner at the
weekend,
and we've got the other crowd coming this week. And there's Vienna
soon.
Loads
to look forward to."
"I
know, I know. It's just me being.... whatever."
"Feel
like you're getting a bug or anything?"
"No,
and my cold has just about gone now. It's just something about me,
today. It'll pass."
"Wish
I could help it pass quicker. What kicked it off? You know, feeling
this way?"
"Not
comfortable with myself. Clothes don't fit, feel shabby and old."
"I
said before how good it was to see that top again, it’s always been
one of your best."
"But
it's these trousers. Look."
She
pulled her top up to show me the gathered fabric underneath,
accordioned together
by
a tightly pulled belt.
"See?
I had to put a belt on, they don't fit me any more. All this.....
stuff" she said, tugging at the newly revealed folds of
material.
"That's
good though, shows how much you've trimmed down. Good for your
joints, isn't it?"
"Maybe,
but I feel a mess. I should be throwing them out if they don't fit."
"Do
that then. Go and change and put them in the charity shop bag."
“What's
the point?”
“Maybe
they're what's getting you down? Maybe they're depressing trousers.”
She
looked dubious.
Then
determined.
And
walked out of the room.
She
returned five minutes later , blue jeans stretched tight across her
hips.
“They
look more cheerful. Sexy.”
“Yeah.”
She
smiled.
