Tuesday 14 December 2021

Story - Warehouse

 I really liked James.  Even if I still couldn't figure out how such a good looking guy, twelve years my junior, could be so into me.  But he was and I'm not one to turn down a good time.  So when he asked me to go to a rave with him I was well up for it.  All the way until he said it would be in Malone's, the  old warehouse on the derelict Gresham estate.  He didn't know, how could he?   He didn't know why I was suddenly prevaricating.  He didn't know what that name meant to me.

That one word took me back thirteen years, when James was just a kid and I was nineteen.  And up for those good times.  The scene I was part of was pretty crazy at times, but never more so than in Malone's.  It had been empty for fifteen years by then, another byproduct of the destructiveness of the Thatcher years, like so much of our sad little town.  But it was easy to get to, well away from prying eyes (and ears) and massively empty.  Nothing but the myriad pillars supporting the glass roof to interfere with the huge floorspace that sat between four distant banks of brick.

Somebody, I never knew who, decided this was the perfect place to have bike races.  Guys who'd tried to do a bit of street racing, and swiftly found themselves in law trouble, looking for somewhere more discrete to show off their skills and machines.  And so the Maloney Wacky Races came to be.

A track around the inner perimeter of the building, delineated by the outermost pillars.  In the centre the 'pits', the crowd, the boose, the drugs.  The madness.  Races were pursuits, each rider starting on opposite sides of the building, trying to do ten, or fifteen, or twenty laps quicker than the other guy.  Noise and smells, noise and smells, from bikes and people.  Exciting, illicit, addictive.  Summer weekends of my youth.

Riders regularly lost control, slid into corners, where mattresses were strategically placed.  There was one really nasty accident, a rider losing control, hitting a wall, brick winning out over bone.  He was carried, on a makeshift stretcher, out to the main road, with his bike, and an ambulance called.  No need to give Malone's unnecessary publicity.

But didn't we all know it wouldn't end there?  Or that it would end, but not in the way we wanted?  That that one accident had been a warning, but one which was as neglected as the warehouse?  We should never have been surprised by the end, but we were.

Denis Johnstone.  A name I'll never wipe from my brain.  He'd been close to losing it on the turn, but looked like he'd corrected enough.  Except his instincts weren't all they should have been.  The coke saw to that.  He'd overcorrected, lost the back wheel as he returned from brushing the wall, and slid into the partying crowd.  Slid two feet from me, my eyes and ears confronted with carnage and screams they tried to reject.  A severed leg, a battered head, a bloody mess, a shower of sparks, the sound of metal on stone, the sound of fear, the sound of pain, the sound of dying, imprinted on my senses.

Somebody called 999.  Somebody had to.  One death, three serious injuries, another fifteen with some kind of physical damage, and I don't know how many of us carrying the mental wounds.  I hadn't fogotten.  I didn't ant reminding. 

James thought I didn't want to go to his rave because I thought I'd feel old there.  I let him think that.  It was easier on him that way.

Tuesday 26 October 2021

Story - It's Never Too Late

 "Don't worry about all that stuff Mum, we'll sort everything out for you.  Doug'll get all the money side organised, I'll go through Dad's clothes and stuff with you, and Doug can sell the car."

"Leave the car please."

"Why?  When either of us come back we'll have our own cars with us."

"I know.  I just want you to leave it for now.  No, you can help me get the ownership transferred into my name, is that difficult?"

"No, it's not difficult, but why would you want to?  You don't drive so it's just going to be sat there as a drain on your money."

"I'm going to learn."  Susan and Doug looked at each other, and turned back to their mother with carefully composed expressions of concerned patience.

Doug spoke slowly, as if he were addressing a particularly dim brexshiteer.  "Why do you want to learn now, after all this time?  We think it might be a bit risky... you know?"

"At my time of life?" snapped Sheila.

"Yes, well no, well, it is quite ... late..."  His voice trailed away.  When his mum looked at him like that he felt about six again.

"Mum..." Susan tried to add her voice, but was swiftly cut off.

"I've thought about this and I know what I want to do.  Stop treating me as if I'm senile and decrepit."

"But it's so soon after..."  She was cut off almost immediately.

"And I'm still in shock from Rob's death?  Of course I am, but this is something I decided a long time ago.  When he was gone, if he went before me, I'd finally get the freedom I've wanted."  Her forty-something children looked at her with a mixture of surprise, sympathy and sheepishness.  "You probably don't even know that I took lessons long before either of you appeared.  But your father rubbished my attempts to the point where I lost all my confidence and gave up.  Never tried again.  He was always there to take me where I needed to go, or at least to the places he said I needed to go.  I'm going to be able to make my own decisions now.  I have plans."

Any further objections were firmly suppressed and her children knew they were beaten.  They'd do what they could to help and advise, but there was no doubt about who was in charge.  

Three weeks after the funeral Sheila had her first lesson.  Hamish, the instructor, was an old friend so he'd been able to slot her in early.  Between lessons she pestered everyone she knew to ride shotgun while she learned to take charge of Rob's old Alfa.  And even she wondered why she felt so confident, so determined, so capable.  Friends and family had to get to grips with this new Sheila, who had opinions of her own and goals in her life.  

She passed.  First time.  Hamish beamed.  Almost as much as Sheila.  After the first outings he'd never doubted her, had seen how quickly she took to driving, how much she'd absorbed in all those decades in the passenger seat.  

Back home she wanted to go out in the Alfa.  Was tempted by the idea of going it alone, going solo.  But there was another temptation too.  Art Baker, a widower who lived a few doors down on the other side, had been one of her most enthusiastic shotgun riders.  Maybe he'd like to go for a spin?  She savoured the cliche in her mind.

He would.  They did.  And together they planned a road trip.  Rob had hated the idea of road trips, so they'd never gone.  She looked forward to telling Susan and Doug.

Saturday 23 October 2021

Story - Fire Starter?

 

We reached the top of the rise and looked around.  With the same result as we'd had on the one before and the one before that.

"Shit" said Davey, his vocabulary more limited after each climb.

"Not only shit, but more of the same shit as last time" I added, my lexicon as exhausted as his.

"We are lost.  We are definitely lost."  Raj's contribution was more to the point and vocalised what we'd all been thinking for the past hour or more.  The sun had been getting lower, and we'd been getting increasingly desperate over the past sixty minutes, as our predicament became clearer.  We looked at the rolling anonymous horizons, we looked at each other.  As one we checked our phones, and back to one another, each showing the same blank expression.  As blank as our signal bars.  My juice was getting low too.

"Do we accept that we are not going to get back tonight?"  One of us had to ask and it might as well be me.  More looks, and resigned nods.  There was no discussion to be had on that one.  "So we need to try and shelter and see what we can do when it's light again.  Either of you done anything like this before?"

Simultaneous snorts of derision.  At least we were still functioning as a unit.  We were city boys, street smart and hill hopeless.  What had made us decide to go on a hiking weekend was a discussion to be had another time, but for now it was our forlorn status that held the spotlight.

We managed to have a sensible, almost panic-free, discussion and swiftly came up with a short list of statements of the bleedin obvious.

1.  It would be dark soon and we could get into real trouble if we were still walking by then

2.  It would be cold soon and we had little more with us that the clothes we stood up in

3.  It would be dinner time soon and we had hardly any food with us

4.  It was going to be the worst night of our lives

"So we need to find the most sheltered spot we can within the next ten minutes, see if we can get a fire going, and share out what little we have to eat.  Agreed?"  There wasn't anything to disagree with.  We found an almost cave like hollow on the slope that looked like it might face west (by city boy reckoning).  Just big enough for three to lie down, some cover if it did rain, and, at least for now, hidden from the worst of the wind.

There was some scrub and bushes a bit further down, so Davey and I went down to get something that would burn while Raj tried to arrange our packs into something resembling a rabbit's bedroom, and worked out how much sustenance there was (if you count crisps, biscuits and lager as sustenance).  

We soon returned with armfuls of combustibles, and did another un for more before the darkness cut us off.  When we got back Raj had 'built' (thrown together) something that might do the job.

"Right, who's got matches or a lighter?"  My hopeful voice was the brightest thing about the night, with clouds obscuring moon and stars.  

"Not me" from Davey.

"None of us smoke" pipes Raj.

"And none of us had a clue what we were doing coming out here." I added, echoing the hive mind.  "What per cent have you got on your phones?"

Twenty three for Davey, seventeen for Raj, a mere twelve from my Samsung.  We had chargers with us, but...

"How do we light a fire?  Anyone been a boy scout?  Fan of Bear Grylls?  Watched I'm a celebrity?  Anyone?"  Nobody dibbed or dobbed.

"All I know is you rub two sticks together or bang stones.  Or something."  Davey wasn't exactly Wikipedia.  "Oh, and you can use a magnifying glass and the sun, eh?"  It was probably as well he couldn't see the expressions on our faces.

"Kindling."  The word came to me from some ancient knowledge.  Pushed to explain I tried as best i could.  "It's sort of easy to catch fire stuff, like paper and things, that then gets the woody bits going.  You light the kindling first to start the fire."  I might not be right, but the others wouldn't know anyway.  "Raj, haven't you got a notebook?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Rip it up, tear it into strips and make a wee pile of them.  Davey, you've got most juice so we best use your phone as the torch for now, so Raj can see what he's doing and look see if there's any sticks in that pile that look rubbable.  While you do that I'll use the rest of mine to look for some rocks to bang together.

Tasks completed we set about it like the cavemen we weren't.  Twenty sparkless minutes went by, three idiots looking defeated in the ever fainter light of Davey's beam.  

"We'd best eat something and try to get some sleep.  I really, really hate to say this, but it's huddle up time guys, but even that's a step up from hypothermia."  They weren't keen, but the freezing to death option was a strong motivator.  We ate our subtle repast, with first my, then Davey's phone giving out.  Time to make our bed and lie in it.

I didn't know if I'd be able to sleep or not, and lay there trying to hold Raj close for warmth, and ignore all the weird sounds out there.  Where was a friendly police siren when you needed one?

"Aw, fuckin hell, I don't believe it!" shouts the weird and scary voice of Davey Munroe.

"What, what?" says a fearful Raj and I.

"Don't know if I should laugh or cry."  Remember that pub we stopped in in that unpronounceable village?"

"Uh huh".

"Remember me saying how old fashioned the place was to have books of matches with their name on them?"

"Uh huh".

"Well... "

"Well??" says a pissed off Raj

"Remember me putting one of them in my pocket?  Because I didn't, but I just stuck my hand in for warmth and that must be what this is."

Raj sat up fast and had his phone out and the light on, eager to see this fabulous treasure uncovered by the intrepid David.  Matches.  A whole book of matches.  

"Thank you old world" I said.

It still took three city boy goes to get the bloody thing alight, but we had a fire going.  There was enough power left in Raj's phone for one more trip to the fuel source, and we had sufficient to keep it going for a while.  We decided to take turns staying awake to ensure it didn't go out and I went first.  Because I wanted to feel smug about kindling.

The city boys would survive the night.

Sunday 19 September 2021

Poem - Entitled

 ENTITLED


Guess who’s coming to dinner?

Twelve angry men, a woman called Golda,

Julie and Julia

The gang’s all here

Some like it hot

If Mr Smith goes to Washington

There will be blood

The third man waiting for happiness

Knowing a better tomorrow

Life is beautiful

In the heat of the night

Mary Poppins dances with wolves


Friday 10 September 2021

Poem - The Ballad of Rab and Julie

 Rab and Julie fell in love

They didn't know the danger

Attraction overrules real life

When stranger meets with stranger


And yet they somehow realised

To not be too overt

Kept their passions to themselves

Their meetings were covert  


But joy must have it's outlet

Makes secrets hard to keep

Julie's mum knew something's up

When her girl can hardly sleep


She quizzes her young daughter

Plays the cunning sleuth

Doesn't take much digging

To get down to the truth


"Who's this Rab, and where's he from?"

A mother needs to know

Every detail of the boy

Her daughter has in tow


"From Leith" says Julie, proud that she

Has found herself a boyfriend

Who's not one of the usual crowd

And doesn't condescend


She speaks with pride of her own Rab

And how he's kind and gentle

Isn't that what really counts?

His home is incidental


Now dad's asking more about

Rab's parents and the background

Of this lad he's never met

That his daughter has found


A plumber and a cleaner?

He shook his head and sighed

"You don't mix with folk from Leith

When you come from Morningside"


He drove her down to Leith to see

Where Rab's family bided

One look up at their old flat

And he saw they were misguided


A poster in the window

Three letters spelling out

Support for independence

Dad now had no doubt


"There's no more Rab for you my girl

Those Nats are not for us

They want to split our country up

Now don't you make a fuss"


Rab's parents didn't help much

His dad got all irate

"No good comes from unionists

You need to get that straight"


But Rab and Julie were in love

They couldn't keep apart

Advice from parents doesn't hold

In matters of the heart


They arranged to get together

But mixed up where they'd meet

Ended up on different sides

Of a very busy street


The traffic seemed to race by

But across the road they ran

He was hit by a Bentley

And she by an old white van


These lovers should still be alive

But parents intercede

A line that nobody can cross

Is a line that we don't need



(With apologies to Willie Shakespeare...)


Story - Smell the Coffee

 

Swallowing the last bit of toast, he threw the still too-hot coffee in after it and got himself out the door.  Checked his watch, ran, made the bus with about fifteen seconds to spare.  And breathe.  Or as well as he could behind a mask.

It was one of the rare days when he had to go into the office, and ten months of working from home had dulled his early morning abilities.  With no routine to fall back on any more it became an adventure of uncertainty every time, an exercise in skin-of-the-teethness.  It was becoming harder and harder to remember how he used to do it, and now his getting ready reflexes felt atrophied and clunky.  They'd gone the way of other olde worlde skills like thatching roofs and drystane dyking.  Welcome to the 2020s.

He started to think about how he used to be.  Organised, slick, in the groove.  Pre pandemic days, a period that increasingly felt like a lesson from history.  By the time he went for the bus he'd have got himself groomed and suited and had some cereal, joined the queue in plenty time, and was early enough to get off two stops early to take in his favourite coffee shop and a bit of a walk along to the office.  He missed that coffee shop.

He missed the coffee, so much better than anything his crappy kitchen machine could churn out.  He missed the croissant he always had with it, fully justified by the wee bit walking that followed.  And, he had to admit, he missed the service.  He missed Keri.  He missed her smile, her shiny black hair, her constant jollity.  He missed her.

They'd never spoken beyond the usual exchanges and pleasantries she seemed to have for every customer.  There'd never been a suggestion that the customer-server link could ever become anything more than that.  Except that the suggestion was there, inside his head, a link into a fantasy world that escalated from coffee to a date, a date to the best sex of his life, the sex to marriage, the marriage to children, the children to a comforting slippered old age together.  His fantasies didn't have an edit function.

He'd never voiced this to anyone.  Probably never would.  Least of all to Keri.  The times he'd contemplated doing something about it he'd ended up sweating and panicking so much that he'd skipped his morning treat out of fear and embarrassment.  

Would the coffee shop reopen when lockdown ended?  Would Keri still be serving?  Would his job go back to being office based?  So many unknowns.  All he did know was he missed his coffee.  And croissant.  And that smile.  But at least he still had his fantasies.

Sunday 25 July 2021

Story - The Brooch Approach

 

"Lovely brooch" he said.  "Buy it yourself or is it from someone special?"

"No, it's a gift from a friend in return for a favour.  Big surprise at the time, but now it means a lot to me."  He looked more closely, although whether to examine the heart shape on my lapel, or simply to get closer to me, I wasn't sure.  I hoped he wasn't much interested in my jewellery.

The brooch was silver, shaped into the outline of a heart, studded with eighteen rose diamonds that gave it a sparkling pink lustre that caught the eye in the right light.   

"Must have been some favour."

"Well if you fancy buying me a drink I'll tell you all about it."  He did.  It didn't take much to agree we'd go into Brodies, given it was next door to the far less cosy shop we'd met in.  Corner table occupied, drinks in front of us, names and chit chat exchanged, and I kept my part of the bargain. 

"We were down in London a couple of years ago, at a big conference and fair thing for recruitment agencies like ours."

"We?" 

"My husband and me."  He sat back.  "My now ex-husband, for reasons which will soon become obvious if you let me tell the story."  He leaned in, interested.  "We worked together, had started the company together, we'd been married for five years.  But this week down south he was suddenly having to go to extra curricular meetings to which I wasn't invited, didn't need to go, I'd just be bored, and so on.  I wasn't convinced, but I couldn't say for sure it wasn't happening either."  

I paused, remembering the pain of the first couple of days.

"On the Wednesday day night, with Ron having done his disappearing act since mid afternoon, I went out with Angie, an old friend who's in the same business.  We're having a drink and chatting away and a guy suddenly joins us, slips in beside Ange.  I looked at her, she looked sheepish.

"Sorry, she says, "I should have mentioned Ben would be joining us.  You don't mind, do you?"  It didn't look like I had a lot of choice, unless I fancied the evening to myself.  Ben was about forty five, a good ten years older than Ange and me.  Short, chubby, balding, big red nose.  His suit looked old and cheap.  It was hard to see what linked the two of them.

"Except it soon wasn't, as they clearly couldn't keep their hands off each other, and Angie, my bright, hard nosed friend, was like a labrador pup.  Gooseberry time for me."

We left the pub, and Ben took us to the restaurant he'd booked.  Nice place, not cheap, looked a bit pricey for Ben.  It probably was.  "My treat." said Angie."  

"To be fair to Ben he was easy to talk to, could be really funny, and clearly adored my pal.  Between courses I learned more about how and when they'd met, how the relationship had developed - and the bit that made me realise why I'd been brought along.  As cover.  Ben was, of course, married.  To a woman he claimed to detest - don't they all? - and wanted to leave.  But the look on his face every time her name came up showed me just how under her thumb he really was.  

"We were at the coffee and liqueurs stage when Ben pulls this brooch out of his pocket, pins it to his lapel.  Angie tells him off, but is clearly delighted to see it.  Turns out this is something she gave him as a keepsake, and he's messing about by wearing it in public, just for the laughs.  But he suddenly stopped laughing.

"A tall tweedy-looking woman stood at the table, face red with fury.  She bellows "Benjamin, what's that?", pointing at his sparkling decoration.  Ben looks flustered, Angie's colour has drained and I don't need any introductions to know who this is.  "That's mine" I said, "Angie gave it to me as a present and Ben was giving us a laugh saying it looked better on him.  What d'you think?"

"She looked at me, looked at Ben, looked at Angie, looked unsure what came next.  "Come on Ben, give it back, I don't think your good lady thinks it suits you."  He handed it over and I pinned it on.  "The things we do when we get a bit pissed with colleagues, eh." I said, winking at her.  She ignored me now, and asked Ben if he was coming to the hotel.  And he went, just like that, leaving Angie to stare after him, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly.  

"Ange was angry, hurt, vengeful, and she described various things she wanted to do to Ben and his disturbing spouse.  Figured that he must have been stupid enough to put the restaurant booking in his calendar and the harpie had charged up from Kent to catch him out.  Reckoned she wouldn't see him again.  Before we left I gave her back the brooch.  Well, tried to.  She wouldn't have it.  Said it would only remind her of tonight, and I deserved it for my quick thinking.  I soon realised she wouldn't accept my refusals so I got this little beauty out of it.

"I also got my divorce.  As we left the restaurant who should appear out of the place across the road?  My soon-to-be-ex and his bit of extra curricular activity, draped over each other.  This sobered me up and I managed to quieten Ange and drag her along so we could follow them.  To watch a big gropy smooch at the taxi rank.  Was I going to be like Mrs Ben and barge in to embarrass them?  Too bloody right I was.  

"And the rest, as they say, is history."

My companion sat smiling.  "Good story, nice punchline.  Think those gems have changed your luck?"

"You mean you only noticed me because of my diamonds?"

He laughed, and I loved that sound.  "That would be like noticing the Mona Lisa because it's got a nice frame."

I unpinned the brooch, stuck it on his lapel.  He looked at me quizzically, amused at the gesture.

"Let's see if anyone turns up" I said.

Sunday 18 July 2021

Story - Mr Banks

 

Simon had expected the next instruction from Control would be telling him to taxi to the runway, but he was disappointed.

"Lima Tango 325, please hold position until further notice, incoming emergency means all take offs delayed indefinitely.  Will update you on estimated time when things become clearer."

"Roger Control."  There wasn't much else he could say.  Whatever the emergency might be, they'd be too busy dealing with it for unnecessary questions from him, and he'd probably see it soon enough.  Sounded like a flight with a problem needed a runway urgently.  He informed the passengers about the situation, answered their unanswerable questions as best he could, and settled to wait.

Which gave him another chance to ponder on what he was about to do, and how he'd come to this point.  This was it, his first solo flight in charge of a commercial passenger aircraft.  There were only six other people on board, the flight time was just forty minutes, and he'd be back in Inverness in plenty time for dinner.  But it was all his.  After a couple of years of co-piloting he'd now be solely responsible for the safety and comfort, and confidence, of everyone on board, trusted by the airline to do the job to the standards they demanded.  It was a place he thought he'd never be in, a chance that so nearly fell away from him, but for one man.

Fourteen year old Simon had only one ambition in life. He would become an airline pilot, surely the natural outcome of the absorbing fascination with aviation he'd had for eight years.   It was time to choose the subjects he'd take next year, the ones he'd go on to take O-grades in, from which he'd select the Highers he'd sit, which would shape the degree course he'd be able to take, which would be his passport to flying school.  Maths and Physics were top of his list, the essentials for his future.

At the parents evening McCartney, the Maths teacher, had made encouraging noises, confident in Simon's abilities to progress.  English, French, Chemistry, the same, no problems foreseen if he kept up to the same standards he'd met so far.  Their final stop was with Harrison, the Physics man, and the one teacher Simon found hard to get on with.  He knew he hadn't excelled in Harrison's class, but felt it was down to the teaching as much as his own ability.  Harrison thought otherwise, and explained to his disappointed parents that Simon stood little chance of passing the lower level exam two hears hence, never mind the far more important one the year after.  His father put up a half hearted defence, emphasising how important this was to the boy's career aspirations, but he was no match, in intellect or authority, for the teacher.  Telling Simon to leave it, they'd work something else out, they shepherded him towards the way out.

The evening was coming to a close and Banks, Simon's French teacher and form master, was shuffling his papers into order, stuffing them into his bag.  He looked up to see a  boy who'd been smiling eagerly thirtty minutes before, but now looked like one heading for the scaffold, morosely shuffling along between his stoic parents.  

"Simon."  

He looked across blankly, a weight around his neck.

"Can we have a chat before you go home?"

Simon looked at his parents.  They, used to giving way on educational matters, urged obedience, and moved with him towards the trestle table.

"Just Simon on his own if you don't mind please, if you could wait outside we'll only be a few minutes."  

Simon wondered what was coming, but didn't much care.

"So who's given you some bad news?"  

"Mr Harrison doesn't think I can get my Physics O so I shouldn't take it next year."

Banks understood the implications immediately.  He shared some of Simon's interest in the world of aircraft, so he knew exactly what an obstacle had been dropped into the boy's life plans.

"And what do you think?"

Simon stood open mouthed.  This wasn't a question he was prepared for, for his opinion was so rarely sought by anyone.

"Come on, you can tell me.  I know how much of a blow that would be to you and everything you want to be.  So what do you think - could you get your Physics or not?"

"Mr Harrison says no."

"I'm not asking Mr Harrison, I'm asking you.  Do YOU think you'd get it?  How much do you want it?"

Simon struggled between the his maternally-inculcated humility and an adolescent desire to realise his dreams.  He looked at Banks, a concerned, encouraging expression on his face, and decided to take a chance and see where it took him.  He couldn't be any worse off than he was already.

"I'm sure I can sir, but I seem to have problems with the way Mr Harrison explains things."

"Have you been to any of Mrs Baker's classes, or Mr Cheam's?"

"We had some lessons from Mrs Baker, and I found her a lot easier to understand.  Not that I mean Mr Harrison doesn't know stuff or anything, but..."  Banks stopped him.  

"Leave it with me Simon, let's see what can be done.  No promises, but I'll see if we can get a second opinion, OK?"

Simon nodded, not able to trust the lifeline being thrown his way, and went off outside.

"What was that about?" his mother asked.

"He wants me to do some extra reading." he lied.

Simon never really did understand what Banks had done.  But two days later he was summoned to see Baker, questioned intently for an hour and, feeling like he'd been under interrogation, left none the wiser.  Two days later a letter arrived at home, telling his parents that there had been a revised verdict on Simon's Physics capabilities, and if it was still one of his preferred subjects he'd be in Mrs Baker's class next year.  And that was that.

"Lima Tango 325, please taxi to standpoint A and prepare for takeoff."

Simon's instincts threw him from his reverie.  "Roger Control."  He went through his procedures and set the plane in motion, to a desultory cheer from the impatient sextet behind him.  As the lift took hold off the wings and hauled them skywards Simon's inner voice said "Thank you Mr Banks."


Monday 5 July 2021

Story - Puppy Love

 

I'd had that job for six years.  I was good at it.  I was very good at it.  Everyone said so.  The boss, my colleagues, the customers.  They couldn't do without me, could they?

So it seemed.  Then the pandemic hit, the lockdown froze us out of business, the company shut down for who knows how long?  There were redundancies, but not for me.  I was put on the furlough scheme and, to begin with, the boss man topped my salary up to full pay.  But when it became clear, after the first three months, that even without a full lockdown any more we still wouldn't be able to get back to work, that luxury came to an end.  

No real worry, I still got more than enough to pay the mortgage, pay the household bills, feed myself and... well, there wasn't much to spend the rest on anyway.  Going out?  Don't make me laugh.

But the months dragged on, the end of the year loomed, and another big wrecking ball headed our way.  Brexshit.  The boss kept us informed of what we needed in  the deal, if there was ever going to be one,  to keep us viable.  But when it came it was clear that the dog's breakfast of an end product was a killer blow.  The extra red tape would soon have wrapped us in a slow death by strangulation.  This was the end.

Redundant.  No matter how much the word was sugar coated, no matter that I was released ever so reluctantly and with such huge regret, I was still out of work for the first time in my life. During the biggest recession, with rocketing unemployment, in a country that was going backwards, under a government that blended heartlessness, greed and incompetence into a mediocre cocktail of despondency.  I'd never claimed benefits before, but I knew the scare stories about universal credit and how badly it had been implemented.  With few savings behind me my mortgage was going to become an immediate problem.  I saw myself turned into one of those people who have to make decisions about whether to feed himself or keep warm.  In a world without hugs.

Morose about my uncertain future, aware of how easily I could let myself roll about in a mud pit of self pity, I ventured out into the daylight.  Trying to avoid the idiots walking along with their heads looking screenwards.  Or the couples who were too oblivious of others to walk single file for the five seconds it would have taken.  I turned into the local park, where at least the pathways were wide and there was space to get away from people.  

I didn't see her at first, hidden behind the approaching pair of legs.  I sought eye contact with the woman approaching, seeking to determine which side we'd each be safest on, but she turned away, looking back.  And then I saw her, a scurrying leg-whirl of white.  I moved to my left, the lady to hers, and her companion stopped in the middle, and looked at me.  Little brown ears, soft eyes, frantically excited tail, and so, so tiny.  

"How old?" I asked.

"Nine weeks, too wee for a lead yet.  But she's curious about everything and everyone."

I crouched down to get a closer look, and little Ms Nosey came right on up to my outstretched hand.  Trusting, fascinated, expecting to be loved.  She was gorgeous, cute, infectious in her 'the-world-is-wonderful-cos-I'm-in-it' confidence.  I wanted to pick her up and take her away in my pocket, and never let her go.

"She's lovely."  

"I know."  The dog walker grinned her delight at this addition to her life.  

"Maybe I'll see you both again." I said, rising, thinking it was the puppy I really meant.  But when she said "I hope so.  I'll be round again this time tomorrow.  Best be going now, too cold to stand around."  And she walked off up the path.  The pup, uncertain who offered most, stopped to look up at me, looked up the path, and bounced off after the one who would feed her.  Her owner looked back to check.  On me and the dog.

I completed my walk with a smile on my face, and a lighter step than before.  Was that all it took to make my world seem a brighter place?  Yes.  The cutest bundle of joy turning up, an attractive woman who didn't see the darkness I'd been wrapped in, and a future that, however uncertain, would always throw up a life that needed to be lived.  There's always a way.

Saturday 26 June 2021

Story - All Tied Up

  

Still breathless from the excitements of the previous ninety minutes, she closed the door behind the departed Malcolm and thought through Operation Clean-up.  Mentally flicked through which rooms he'd been in, what he'd touched and handled (mostly her...), which traces of his tumultuous presence might need to be removed.  He'd come into the hall, straight through to the kitchen where he had wine, swiftly up to the spare room where he had her, and briefly into the bathroom for his own tidy up.  She decided to work back from where he'd last been.

In the bathroom there was nothing she could see.  He'd put the toilet lid down (good boy!), but she quickly checked for splashes on the seat itself, and that he'd flushed.  No mess around the sink or on the mirror, nothing looked to have been moved.  One more check in the mirror.  Was she herself passable?  She nipped through to the en suite, brushed her hair, tidied her makeup, enough but not too much, and decided her clothes were just as they should be.

She moved on to the room where they'd had sex.  And stood dreamily in the doorway for several minutes, reliving the passion and gymnastics that had taken place.  No, she must get on.  The sheets were stained (of course...), but once covered up and the bed made there was nothing to see.  She hoovered the pillows for hairs as a precaution, but there really didn't seem to be anything that would be easy to spot.  Henry never came in here anyway.  May and Doug were coming to stay in a couple of weeks and she'd use that as an excuse to refresh the bedding before their arrival.   All was well in the bedroom.

Back down to the kitchen and the most obvious giveaways that she'd had 'company'.  Two wine glasses, and a half finished bottle of reisling.  And a decision to make.  Did she wash both glasses, dispose of the bottle (or hide it? - no, she didn't want her husband thinking his wife was an alcoholic) and hope Henry didn't notice a bottle had gone missing?  Risky.  Or wash just one, and offer Henry a glass as soon as he got in?  She'd rarely got to the point of drinking in the afternoon in the past, so why would she have done so today?  This was a question she'd pondered before, and still wasn't sure which option to go with.  It would be hard to convince Henry that she'd had a legitimate visitor she'd plied with alcohol, so there had to be a reason for her to open the bottle herself.  She'd already dropped any idea which might be undone through someone else failing to back up her story, so it had to be about her.  Or Henry.  Or because she was cooking something special that merited wine? - except that she had omelettes planned for dinner.  In the end the best story was the one that was impossible to prove wrong.  She'd simply felt like it.  And why not?

One glass washed and dried and put away, another, for Henry, brought out and ready to use beside her own dirty glass.  She worried it might give him 'ideas', but that was such an infrequent event nowadays, or why else would she have turned to Malcolm?   Another look round the kitchen, but there was nothing to worry about.  Mission accomplished.

Henry came in a usual and called out her name.  She came into the hall as usual and came up to give him a hug.  But before she did they both saw it at the same time.  Bright blue, snaked across the top of the console table.  She stopped, he spoke.

"Hello, where's this from?"  He picked up the tie and looked quizzically at her.  She hoped she looked composed, she hoped she looked innocent, she hoped and hoped and her brain raced to provide an explanation.

"I found it beside the gate when I got back in.  Do you think I should have left it hung up there in case the owner passed by again?  I thought it was a strange thing to lose."  And stopped herself grinning at the memory of pulling it off her lover the moment he came through the door.

"Must have fallen out a pocket or something.  I doubt he'd know where to look.  Nice tie, I might just keep that for myself."  He gave her a smile of acquisition. 

"OK.  Come and have a glass of wine.  I've already started." she said slyly.  And thought 'I've gotten clean away with it'.


Wednesday 2 June 2021

Story - Big Broiler


Culture clash.  You can hear it on a bus, in the supermarket, in the street.  Sometimes it will have real world aftereffects, set people heading off on the wrong pathways. But it can also be very funny, mostly, for anyone listening in.  Or they may come away totally confused, having only heard a snippet of the conversation, the words strung along the soundwaves shorn of all the context in which their meaning lies.

""It's the supermarkets, see?  They go for big breasts.  Like fellers. - Did you see that woman on Big Brother?" An English accent.

"Who is big brother?" A Polish accent.

And so it begins.  

"Don't you know Big Brother?  What do they have on telly where you come from?  It's where they lock 'em all up together in a house and you can watch 'em."

"Chickens?"

You know where this is going...

English accent man doesn't twig."Yeah, yeah, just like chickens.  I like that.  And there's this voice telling 'em like what they've got to do.  And they're not supposed to have sex, but one of 'em did - that one with the big, like, knockers I was telling you about."

"Big like knocker?"

Yeah, massive."

And then they're gone.  You wonder how long it will be for one of them to realise that if they're both talking about birds they're not from the same species?  Or did Mr Polish accent leave thinking there was a TV programme where you could watch chickens being ordered about and forbidden to have sex?  Then where would the eggs come from?  Big Brother never thought of that.

Monday 17 May 2021

Story - Dragon and the George

 

I still miss the good old days, when I was truly useful.  When they needed me.  But it seems I'm useful once more, perhaps not as much as was once the case, but it's good to feel those centuries of isolation coming to an end.

Once upon a time they couldn't have managed without me.  I'd watched so many creatures change over time, hoping one or another would develop the brainpower that would appreciate the possibilities of what I had to offer.  It was never clear it would come from the monkeys, until they shed much of their hair, learned to walk on two legs, and developed the ability to grip and wield.  They were my chosen ones.

Fire was something they feared, one more uncontrollable element in a terrifying world, a wall of heat and destruction that swept across woodland and grassland and left a black smoking wilderness, and the black smoking bodies of those who could not escape.  I thought about how I could introduce them to the magic, without the fear, and awaited my opportunities.

A wandering group of these early humans, hungry, cold, night falling.  In a dip in the ground I swept some wood together, breathed upon it gently, and created a warming fire.  In the clearing I scattered more wood, and left a small antelope nearby.  Gentle hints.  The band approached, warily, scouting out threats, assessing the situation, and found the warmth and light made them feel better, kept away predators.  They let the fire die down.

It would a take a few goes on my part before someonefinally thought to try putting more wood on the pile, to keep the flames going longer.  That made them more adventurous and some tried building their own piles of wood, but they never lit.  Some tried warming the meat of the antelope (or whatever I'd found convenient nearby), and recognised the improvement in taste.  Unable to recreate the fire elsewhere, they settled in the spot they'd found, kept it going and this became home.  Some understood they could take burning wood in their hands and use them to take light elsewhere, and then to set another fire going.  But if it rained...

I still hadn't shown myself, but observed from high in the sky, far enough that they would mistake me for a great bird.  Revealing myself for what I am would require much thought if they were not to be terrified.  Eventually I chose a grouping that had settled by the sea, when their fires had all been put out by the weather.  I landed as softly as my beating wings allowed.  There was fear in their eyes, but I kept some distance, dropped the wood I had carried with me into a neat pile, and, checking their wary eyes were still on me, gently breathed my magic upon it.  I stepped well back.  They stepped forward, cautious, fearful of a trap.  One stuck his stick into the flames, drew it out ablaze, and rushed back to start relighting their own dark pyres.

This had happened several times, and I had gained their reluctant trust, but they remained cautious.   Who would not be, seeing my size and majesty and powers?  A dragon is not a sight humans ever become fully accustomed to.  But the time was right for the next stage in their combustion education.  When the fires were out once more (although they had steadily developed ways of  preventing this from happening too often) I returned.  Instead of setting a fire I dropped rock on rock to create sparks.  They looked bewildered.  I did it again.  And again.  One of the sparks dropped into some sticks and grass which was briefly alight.  And the spark lit up in one head.  A man rushed to get some rocks and banged them together next to a pile of wood.  No luck.  Another added grass.  And they created their own fire.  I flew up, hovered above, and could see that they knew now.  I was their friend, not their master.  

More groups received the same lessons.  The news spread, of how to create and master fire, of the uses it could be put to, and that the dragon, if you ever saw it, was a friend of man.  I did not want worship, just the knowledge that I had helped.  

All was well between us, my legend strong, my reputation untarnished.  Until the incident.  One man who changed it all, and changed it for the worse.  His story spread, the dragon became an evil one in the minds of humans, and my usefulness ended.  I hid myself away in these mountains, kept my distance.  But let me tell you what really happened.

I discovered a young woman in trouble.  Lost, far from home, at the mercy of the wild beasts in the hillside forest, hungry and tired and very, very frightened.  When she saw me she knew who I was and that I would be her friend, although she lacked the power of speech.  She let me pick her up, and, holding her warmly in my softened jaws, fly her back towards the nearest humans.  I spotted one on a horse, and thought he might be the one to help, and carry her back to safety.  A strange creature though, in metal clothing that made him look like a poorly constructed shiny scarecrow, with a bright red cross on the board he had strapped to one arm.  

I put her down before him, and stepped away.  The distressed woman looked at me gratefully, and at him expectantly.  He looked on grimly, angrily, with reason deserting his face.  Which he hid as his metal covering snapped shut, pressed his horse to charge forward, and came at me with his puny stick.  I could have, perhaps should have, roasted him then.  But I bore no ill will towards the horse, not did I want to frighten she I had so recently rescued.  So I ascended, and hovered above the scene, immune to his idiocy.  He shouted insults, called me coward and claimed what he called victory.  I stopped myself from laughing.  Chuckling too often results in unexpected busts of flamey breath, and I didn't want the situation to get worse.

He turned back to the woman, now on her feet.  Instead of alighting to check on her condition, he didn't even stop, just bent down to grab her clumsily and heave her painfully across his saddle.  Administering a couple of smacks to her buttocks, he spurred his charger on and went off into the woods.  I thought to follow, to check on her safety, but, shamefully I admit, my vanity had been rattled, my pride roused, and I flew off in the other direction.  The arrogant, ungrateful boor was best left alone, I thought.  Wrongly.

My next appearances before humans were greeted with fear and loathing and aggression.  I even had to singe a couple for my own safety.  What had changed?  It was my friend the unicorn who told me enough to piece together the story.  The tin man had returned to his people with a fantastical tale about his rescue of the poor maiden from the evil dragon, her bruises and the clear evidence of despoilment being shown as evidence against me.  He was a persuasive orator, a man who could spin lies and deceit into a credible farago, and the word of my supposed wrongdoing spread rapidly.  This despicable creature built up such myths about himself that he became the hero of a people, their knight in shining armour.  What sort of folk would choose a bullying and uncaring falsifier as their icon?

But that was then.  The bully is still seen as a hero by many of the descendents of those imperious fools, and they have brought much havoc to the world of humans.  But their neighbours see through them, and accord myself, and my one horned friend, our due credit.  Now, in these hills and valleys, I still light upon people who are lost and tired and hungry and fearful, and I light them a fire and guide them to shelter.  They are grateful, but will not tell the story when they return to their families, for fear of ridicule.  I prefer it that way.  I am a myth, a legend, and a friend of man.  But not of the tin men.

Wednesday 5 May 2021

Story - Missed Connections

 

My digits?  What kind of message is that?  I didn't know if he meant me or not, but I wasn't about to reply to something so...curt, so lacking in any hint of romance.

I did know he meant me.  I remembered him, sort of.  There were two of them, together forlornly when I brought my shopping cart back to the car.  They were parked in the bay behind me, the Nissan with the hood up, the guys with their mouths down.  I set about shifting my purchases into my Merc and struggled to get the pressure washer box up and over the wire (so how was I going to be able to use it? - but that's another story...).   The guy in red parka came over and offered to help, got it where I wanted it, and I thanked him.

"Are you in a hurry to get away?" he suddenly asked.  When a random man asks you that in a parking lot you the alarms start blaring, so I played it cautious.

"I do have someone waiting for me so I really need to get going."

"Oh, OK, it was just in case you had time to help me out.  I'd left the lights on too long and battery's flat.  If I could find someone to give me a jump start |I'd just be so grateful."

He seemed genuine enough.  He had helped me out.  And I'd lied, there was nobody waiting and no rush to be anywhere.  I looked at red parka man, a spaniel waiting to be petted.  Then at his mate, blue puffa jacket guy, looking... at me, intently.  He looked away quick enough when our eyes met.  Harmless, or at least harmless enough, said my antennae.

RPM connected with my hesitation.  "It wouldn't take long, I've got the leads right here."  The smile half hopeful, half encouraging.  I looked around and there was nobody else he could ask for now, and one Samaritan deserves another, don't they?

So I closed the trunk lid, shifted my car around to be nose to nose, released the hood and he did the rest.  In less than four minutes the Nissan was purring away, my hood was back down and I was on my way home to my imaginary someone.  RPM had given profuse thanks.  BPJG never said a word.  He did look though.  A lot.  Had positioned himself so that he could always sneak a glance.  I thought I saw him grin as I pulled away.


It was Thursday when I was back into Craigslist.  I've no idea what made me have a sneaky look at the Missed Connections ads.  Sometimes I'd gone in there just for the laughs, the desperation that oozed from every line.  

'Tractor Supply Friday (Stephensville)'  I'd been there on Friday so clearly my brain would want to click.  And there it was.  Words springing from the sparse sentences.  Shy.  REALLY want you number.  Fate.  Friend a jump start.  I really want them - your digits.   

Surely not me?  Surely me?  Otherwise the coincidence level...  This was my grinning silent admirer, Mr BPJG.  Had I thought him cute?  I really couldn't remember much beyond the sly glances and that final grin.  No, he couldn't have my digits.  Really, he couldn't.


I forgot all about him.  I almost forgot all about him.  OK, I sometimes wondered if I'd made a mistake.  It wasn't like I had admirers queued up at the door, and dating in your forties was proving more of a challenge than I could handle.  But if I'd made a mistake it was just another one in a long, long line.  So?


Four months or so passed.  I was back in Tractor Supply again. It was a hot day, a Friday.  Looking in Lawns & Gardens for fertiliser and a new hose cart.  Looking, looking, and then looking up.  At a shopping cart stopped dead centre of the aisle.  At a stupid grin above it.  At those eyes which had watched me so intently.

He came towards me, opened his mouth, and I waited for sound to emerge.  And waited.  The look sinking from joyful to crestfallen.

"Still shy?" I asked.  He nodded, still dumb.  "Still REALLY want my... digits?"

"You read it?"  My turn to nod.  The puppy looked happy again.  "I can speak, really, it's just..."

He'd made me laugh and that was enough.  

"I'm nearly done in here."  I looked at his empty cart.  We looked.

"Err... I'm done too."  I couldn't help my quizzical expression.  "I don't come in to buy.  I've been coming most Fridays since, you know...  Sometimes weekends."

"For me?"  He looked into the emptiness of his basket.  "Just to say thanks for getting your buddy's car going maybe?  Or do haunt this place for the atmosphere?"

"No, no, it's just that you wouldn't go from my head and I wanted to see you and I knew the ad was a long shot but maybe coming here I'd see you again and even if I didn't it helped me keep your face in my head and I always thought that maybe there was a chance and sometimes I didn't and..."  He stopped himself, somehow, eyes lit up and shining, waiting.

"Sounds like I just gave another jump start.  Always good to know I can still do it.  Think it's time to head for the register?"  I smiled.  I smiled a smile that let him smile back, that turned Mr BPJG into Mr Mine.


We don't go to Tractor Supply much.  But when we do we get two carts.  And one of them stays empty



Footnote :  The story derived from a Craiglist ad, in the Dallas listings, which went as follows -

"Tractor Supply Friday (Stephensville)'    I wish i wasnt so shy . cause i REALLY want your number!! Maybe fate will let you see this !! You gave my friend a jump start ... So can i have them please?! Your digits?!"


Tuesday 4 May 2021

Story - Decision time

Eighteen hundred and fifty days.  Just over five years.  Not that 'days'  or 'years' held any meaning now.  It was the numbers that mattered, not the units.  Eighteen fifty activated the first decision window.  Her decision.

There had been four of them to begin with.  Alexei had been first to go.  'Day' nine hundred.  A routine check and maintenance walk.  Every ninety 'days' they took it in turn, but this one refused to be routine.  The stickiness of the airlock door should have alerted them, but omens don't belong in space.  And anyway, it wasn't the door that did the damage.  The odds on what happened happening must have been billions to one against.  Space debris.  In deep space.  Hitting the exact spot where their colleague was checking the secondary comms array.  Had been checking.   He was long gone before any of them could even react to the images on their screens.  Long gone.  As was their ability to talk to each other if the main system ever went down.  

The accident which took Lungowe was even more bizarre.  But when everything in their little world was routine it became ever harder to stick to procedures.  She should have been wearing a full heat suit in the core room, but it was only going to be five 'minutes', wasn't it?  But.  Always but.  But it wasn't five minutes, and as she battled to renew one of the lower hydroponic circuits the time stretched out.  They called to her to leave, thrice, but each time it was "nearly there".  But nearly wasn't as close as it should have been.  By the time they got to her it was already too late.  One of them should have been nearer at hand of course, but...

That had been 'day' fifteen hundred and eight two.  Two hundred and sixty eight 'days' ago.  What would once have been about nine months.  Whatever they were.  She and Paul said little now.  It was all about waiting, and performing what had to be performed.  The contingency routines allowed for half crew, no less, so they got by.  She got by, for Paul did what he had to do, no more, and avoided any other responsibilities.  And avoided her.

So the decision was hers now.  They were around a hundred and twenty 'days' flight time from taking up orbit around their destination.  There were two hundred and eighty other human beings on board, in cryogenic stasis.  There were guidelines on how quickly they could be reactivated, and reintegrated, returned, refreshed.  They would have to be revived in batches, the size and frequency to be determined by the views and experiences of the transit crew.  Which, now, really just meant her.

She'd been pondering it for days.  With Paul's personality gone AWOL it would be down to her to perform the orientation procedures.  She didn't think she could cope with more than three at first.  She needed a leader, someone who would relieve her of the burden of command.  A technician to take on a share of the maintenance workload.  And - this was the tricky one.  She'd have liked  the wellbeing specialist, who had always been intended to be in the first batch, to help the four work through the impact of half a decade in intergalactical transit.  She needed her.  But.  Always but.  Paul needed proper psychiatric care.  Maybe she did too.  Maybe?  Huh!  The decision was made.

She punched in the codes.  The beginning of the end had begun.

Thursday 15 April 2021

Story - Boldly Going


I'd been walking around for almost four hours already.  Covered all the rooms of the convention hall, earmarked stalls for later deep exploration, and gone about my mission as boldly as I could, searching for 'the one'.   There had been nods of recognition, brief exchanges of conversation, deceptive appearances too many to relate.  Every time I thought I'd found 'him' there was always some detail he hadn't got just right - the stance, the angle of the head or the cold logicality of the persona lacked ultimate perfection, this element or that element jarred or simply pissed me off.  Dozens upon dozens trying to be 'him', but lacking commitment.  I'd gone to way too much trouble, spent too much of my life in mastering my role, to accept a hint of second best.

But I wasn't about to give up, and my scan continued to take in any and every imposter in this constellation of the good, the bad and the ugly.  Many impressed me with their devotion to the cause, their personal need to realise the truth of the stars, that made us all feel a part of this journey into the unknown.  Their faith and belief  kept me going in my quest.  I'd not yet reached the point of thinking "I cannae take it any more".

And then I saw him.  'Him'.  A man for the minutiae.  A man who'd mastered his character, who inhabited that half alien being.  I could feel him sucking in my appearance, the rightness of my uniform and hair, the sardonic confidence I projected.  Our eyes met, the final step in our mutual appraisals, and we had the same thought.

He was Spock, I was Kirk, and that's all either of us needed to know. 




Tuesday 16 March 2021

Story - Inasday

 

As soon as I opened the door I knew what day it was.  Not just Tuesday, but Stairsday.  Not just Stairsday, but Inasday.  So not only would all our stairs and landings get the best, most thorough, dowsing and sudsing and mopping they'd get for the next ten weeks, but we could savour the floor show as well. Until Inasday returned again.

There were the sounds that were common to every Stairsday.  A metallic drag of the bucket, the dripping wheeze of the mop being squeezed dry and the slosh as it landed on stone fully water replenished, the swish of mop on step, the grunt of carrying the bucket up each flight.  And then there were the sounds unique to Inasday.  A blast of tinny sound from the shouldn't-even-be working-anymore cassette player, the confidently off-key soprano accompaniment from the mop wielder, and the rhythmic clatter of shoes on well worn walkways.

Ina was (probably, maybe) somewhere in her seventies.  Ina was a dancer.  Ina had probably always been a dancer.  Not a pro, not even a gifted amateur, just a compulsive, joyful, foot shuffler and tapper.  I sat on the top step, knowing I had to get on and get out, knowing I wouldn't move until Ina was in sight, so I could partake in the pleasures of her dance and experience the vicarious joy she spread.  Knowing I'd get told off for walking across her freshly swabbed surfaces, knowing she'd playfully threaten me with the mop at first, but then grab my arms and birl me round to share in her rapture.  I listened to Davy Jones and Ina duet on Daydream Believer, I felt my toes unable to resist joining in, and I knew today would be a good day.  An Inasday.

Wednesday 10 February 2021

Story - Who's that butting at the door?

 

It should have been perfect.  I'd got the cottage to myself for two weeks, had arrived with enough food and drink to get me through, and the laptop and the notebooks and all the scattered bits of paper that held together the timelines and characters and those little questions that always come up during the writing process.  A short walk each morning and then I'd close my door upon the world and set about the work, until hunger took me away.

For a week it had worked perfectly and the novel finally had a shape, my people brought to life with habits and traits and personalities.  Then it came to a halt.  Stuck fast.  I needed a device or passing character to move things on, to give my victim a sign of hope in their despair.   But everything I tried crumbled before me within a paragraph.  Write, delete, write, delete, write, delete, it went on for most of the day.  By eight pm I was tired, hungry and had been staring at a blank screen for an hour.  When it happened.

A knock at the door.  More of a banging than a knock.  An intrusion on my solitude, an invasion of the silent space I'd create every day when I shut my door upon the world.  If I ignored it maybe  they'd go away.  But the knock/bang came again.  And again.  And I thought, 'what if this is the device or person I need?'.  So I opened the door.

It was a goat.  Two horns, brown coat, two white marks on it's face, straggly beard and a quizzical look in it's eyes.  I'd opened my door not knowing what or who I'd been expecting to see, but it certainly wasn't a goat.  The surprises didn't end there.

"Sorry to be a nuisance, but do you have any Weetabix?" said my visitor.  The specificity of the request stupefied me even more than the fact of a talking goat come knocking.  His accent was a curious unmixture of French and Indian and Swedish, a smooth ungoatly kind of a voice.

"It happens that I do" I replied cautiously.

"You wouldn't be able to spare a few would you?  I know it's a bit strange, but I have a weakness for those flaky wheaty biscuits, and sometimes the cravings get the better of me."  His eyes practiced their sincerity.  "Please." he added politely.

I could have said no.  But he seemed so friendly, so genuine, so delightfully goatey, that I felt an obligation to satisfy his request, and ushered him into the room.  He looked around, took in the scene.

"Writer, eh?"

"How'd you know?" I responded suspiciously.

"Well they don't call me Sherlock for nothing."

"Is that your name - Sherlock?"

"No."

"Oh."  I stared at him.  A memory of men who stare at goats came into my head and I looked away, embarrassed by my humanity.

"Look, don't worry, I know our reputation, but I'm not planning to scoff all your notes and plots and whatnots.  I really just wanted some Weetabix.  If it wouldn't be too much trouble."

I nodded blankly, and moved over to the kitchen area, pulled out the yellow box.

"How'd you like them?  Milk?"

"No milk thanks, as they come will do me.  Maybe a touch of sugar would be nice."

I took out three, no four, bix and placed them in a bowl, then sprinkled the sugar over.

"That OK?"

"Lovely.  Perfect.  Thanks."

I put the bowl down, he looked up, winked, and proceeded to savour the delicacy he'd been so looking forward to.  The savouring took about three seconds.  He did a little dance of pleasure.

"Thank you so much, you've been a real goataider, I am in your debt.  Is there anything I can do for you?  That I haven't already."

From my limited fund of goatish knowledge I couldn't come up with any way he might be useful to me.  I shook my head and, as he turned back to the entrance, felt unaccountably sad that he was about to leave.  He walked out and broke into the curious bouncing trot of his species, soon to be gone from sight.  I turned back into my own little world and pondered.

He'd said "That I haven't already."  As if he really had done something for me.  Strange, even for a talking goat.  

It was only as went to bed I realised.   He really was my missing plot device, my horned interlocutor who would move things smoothly along.  A talking goat had been the answer all along.  Obvious really.




Monday 25 January 2021

Poem - It will be different this time


IT WILL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME

It's dark now, and time to go

A silent flit, I know the rules,

The 'only take what you can carry'

Curtains twitching in good riddance

Already I know we'll go again

But Mum says it will be different this time


Fly by night, land by night

Secret creatures of the dark 

That hides shame and flapping shoes

How we came to this bare place

And we'll leave the same

But Mum said it would be different last time


Always running from some past,

Go before the present's here,

Futures that all look the same

Bed amongst the bugs and rats

Then some man who's wanting more

But Mum says it will be different next time


Time and time and time again

It wasn't much but it was home

I had to choose what's left behind

"I'm ready now" the waited words

Pours the last drop into her cup

But Mum says it will be different this time